Our Sweet Jama
To most of you, she was known as Alice Gatti Babin, but to the eight of us, and to her three great-grandchildren, she was known simply as “Jama.” Well, actually, our sweet Jama. Each of us has our own special memories of the time we spent with Jama. Of course, that time was actually spent with both Jama and “Our Sweet Grandfather Dear”-“Pa” because they were always by each other’s side.
Since we are in New Orleans, and we are Babins, many of those memories involve food…Tuesday night dinners; Saturday night pizza; Sunday big breakfast; eating grits from the outside of the bowl in; normally forbidden “sugar” cereal; toast and bacon bits; animal pancakes; "hidden raisins" in oatmeal; grilled cheese sandwiches; special trips to Wendy’s after grandparents’ day; hamburgers; fried fish; gumbo; Easter crawfish boils and chocolate egg hunts featuring the coveted golden egg; Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners covering the entire credenza; the “candy of the day”; pie; whipped cream fingers; and fudge sundaes with toasted pecans, whipped cream and a cherry on top.
An amazing thing about both Jama and Pa is that they were never too busy to talk (in person or via speakerphone), to visit, or to play. We have enjoyed countless hours: playing cards, mother’s little helper, don’t break the ice, and family regular and animal bingo; walking to the levee to watch the fish jumping; riding the rides and picnicking at city park; and announcing the “greatest grandparents in the world” at each and every grandparents’ day. Whenever we spent the night at Jama and Pa’s, we were allowed to select three stories from their expansive Dr. Seuss collection (a process that often took longer than it did to read the books). When we read those books, even today, we hear the words as Jama so animatedly spoke them. (Are you my mother? Come over to my house, come over and play. Never feed him a lot. Not more than a spot, or something may happen, you never know what. Do you like my hat? I do not like that hat. Goody-by again. Good by.) You would never know that it was the thousandth time that we had asked Jama to read us the same story.
Jama lead by example. Many of our memories involve life lessons or “Jamaisms.” She taught us: to love unconditionally; to pray to the Sweet Lord Jesus (Now I lay me down to sleep); to make our tippy-toes before going to bed; to be patient and kind; to know the value of a dollar and not to be wasteful (Sunday coupons, three sheets of toilet paper, reusing tin foil, save the bows – Jama was green way before it was chic); to take good care of our things (including toys that have occupied the “toy closet” for three generations); to watch where we are going (well, most of the time, right Jen); to work and study hard (a quarter an “A,” cans of whipped cream, and bags of Milano cookies helped with that one); and of course to never go outside in bare feet or white socks. If we ever misbehaved or felt the need to tattle on each other, which of course would have been exceedingly rare, Jama would not get angry. She would resolve the issue by simply saying for example “let Jennifer worry about Jennifer, let Attie worry about Attie, and let Katie worry about Katie.” Jama showed us how to be a loving, supportive and caring spouse of sixty-four years. Perhaps the secret is to only refer to each other as “darlin” and “dear” and, of course, to remain as obviously in love as you were on your wedding day.
When two of us became mothers, we went to Jama for advice and asked her how she managed to raise five children. She told us that when she had her first child, B Boy, she thought that was all that she could handle, but then came Taddy, and she again thought that her plate was full. Of course, Neemes, Petey and Tommy followed. Each time she welcomed a new baby, Jama said that she realized that she had enough time and love to go around and that she knew that God would not give her more than she could handle. We believe that Jama, and are all depending on it in your earthly absence.
Even arrivals to and departures from Jama and Pa’s house are special family rituals. When Calli was young and would often spend the day, she would insist on hiding in the back of the car and having Diane tell Jama and Pa that she couldn’t make it over that day. As soon as Jama and Pa would start to say “oh no,” Calli would shout “here I am” and their feigned surprise each and every time was academy award worthy. Our usual dinner and holiday arrivals would begin by running through Jama and Pa’s back door and into the kitchen. We would always be met by an enthusiastic “look who’s here” and then we would begin greeting everyone with kisses and hugs, including Jama who would usually be standing over the stove preparing our delicious supper. Then, the whole thing would begin again when the next car full of grandchildren and/or great-grandchildren arrived.
At the end of the evening, we would all leave the same way we came in giving kisses and hugs to everyone and leaving through the back door. Taddy, Jama and Pa would always walk us out. As we left Jama would often say “we pray to the Sweet Lord Jesus that he will be with you and guide you every day.” Jama and Pa would stand at the end of the driveway holding hands and waving goodbye until long after their arms must have been tired. They would say to us through rolled down windows “goodbye, we love you, goodbye,” and would stay there waving until we were well out-of-sight. Today, Jama, we are the ones left holding Pa’s hand and saying “goodbye, we love you, goodbye for now.” We know that the Sweet Lord Jesus along with your family have welcomed you to heaven, and that you are happy and at peace, but we will have a hard time letting you go, and will miss you long after you are well out-of-sight. We know too that we will all see you again one day, and that you will again welcome us with kisses and hugs.
Many people think that their grandmother is the most loving, caring, patient, beautiful, and as T says “nicest person,” but we can assure you that in our case all of those things are true. We are thankful for the many years of wonderful memories that we had with our Jama, but we are still left wanting more. It is a huge comfort to know that you are watching over us from above, just as you always have Jama. And, as you know, Jennifer, Katie, Stevie, Calli, Craig, Thomas Ross, Philip, Betsy, Lawson, Sadie and I love you the highest number in the universes.
When we see you again, and you are welcoming us to “the big dog party” in the sky, we can already hear you saying “Hello again. And now do you like my hat?” “I do, What a hat! I like it! I like that party hat!” And, then there will be no more goodbyes.
